Thursday, January 22, 2009

sidd comes to america

Jeff lafountain
1/12/09
A block

Siddhartha comes to America

My name is Jeff lafountain and I have a story of how I flew my friend sidartha to America. I flew him to America sitting in coach to give him the expensive of all the bad seating, hectic people, and the sound of the annoying baby crying a row behind him the entire trip. Only because when I pick him up off the plane in Wyoming’s capital. This should be a very peaceful but yet fun place that he can enjoy.

He comes off the plane wearing nothing butt a robe the air port gave him and his loin cloth. I held up the sign that says my name so he could find me in the crowd. I asked “how was your flight?” and from what he said it had went exactly the way I had planed. He asked “why are we hare I thought you lived in South Carolina why aren’t we there?” Because I wanted to show you my roots and where it is that I come from. From the air port we drove the 8 miles to the town of Cheyenne where we where going to go to yellow stone national park to go see the wild life there. There is a lot of wide open space to do what ever it is that you want to do. I asked Siddhartha “what he would like to do.” He said “I would like to go meditate.” “If you want to but we will have to go deep, deep into the pasture where my favorite spot is.” It is filled with nice green, green, grass. Water running through the hills horses and cows drinking from the water not careing about a thing. “Ok” says Siddhartha “it would be just like when I meditate on my one back in India.” After we meditated for about 3 hours. I decided it was the perfect time to go and some work on the farm. Like milking cows, grooming horses, cutting the hay for to marrow, and re building the fence that the bull keeps kicking down. During our crazysession siddartha says “why cant you just higher some one to do this hard labor?” “because if you don’t do it you don’t feel half as satisfied as you would if you did it your self.” After our long days work we take a long nice soak in the hot tub. When all of a sudden my big surprise rolls up behind the barn.

It is the girls gone wild tour buss filled with to many girls to count. Siddarthas jaw dropped. “is this for me’ he said with great enthusiastic voice. “ yes it is, I figured that we could role in stile to south caralina to murttle beach. As we get on to the buss we are being over welmed by the very elegant collage girls, that are half dressed. From what I see siddartha is felling right at home. “ you know back home I had an in counter with a girl like these, butt it turns out she didn’t like me butt had a kid and now I have a son.” “realy I didn’t know that well these girls are nothing like that no strings attached.” As we are driving he is particeapateing in many strip teases pole dances and actually every thing that was going on.

We rolled into myrtle beach and there was 5 times more girls on the beach for the event than there was on the buss. All wearing biknies or paint on ones that are very distracting. We get up to the main stage where the brad praisley concert is taking place. During the concert I pushed him off the stage into the crowd where he crowed surfed. When he finaly got back to the stage he was written all over with girls numbers. “Why do you have all those numbers” he goes “there for brad, me, and you”. As the concert winded down my bigg finally had appeared a chopper that landed in the middle of the beach filled with more girls for him to bring home. As I said my good byes he says “thank you for such a good time in America.”

6 comments:

mykel said...

1.i really like how you specified what the girls were doing to siddhartha, it was very clever to think of the girls gone wild tour bus, tad jealous.

2. everything seemed pretty good i liked the story overall

3. well you kept the conversation going and it didnt die out at all

4.ive never seen a story start that way, but i think it works for ya

LeonaJune said...

I. I thought that the story was very funny all the way through! The part i remember is the whole girls gone wild part, leave it to you to think of it. i just pictured sid with his eyes huge and glossy and in a gaze at all the girls. i learned that jeffery is very creative. i would have never thought of that.

II. The title was straight to the point. and the 1st paragraph didn't really grab my attention. the ending didn't leave me with something to be thoughtful about besides why would all those girls go back to India with him. btu i liked the ending i didn't expect it at all.

III.
"It is the girls gone wild tour buss filled with to many girls to count. Siddarthas jaw dropped. “is this for me’ he said with great enthusiastic voice. “ yes it is,"
i think that its random and funny. never expected it in the least bit.

IV. the only thing about the essay i found problematic was that ti wasn't very organized and it had punctuation errors.

V. Jeffery try reading through and find the spelling errors and you have to indent the "quote" from different people talking.

Sean said...

I. I liked the part of the story where the girls gone wild bus pulled up. I really never would have expected that to happen. Then the end with the helicopter with more girls was funny too. "It is the girls gone wild tour buss filled with to many girls to count. Siddarthas jaw dropped. “is this for me’ he said with great enthusiastic voice. “ yes it is, I figured that we could role in stile to south caralina to murttle beach."

II. There were quite a few spelling mistakes. There were also a few sentences that were a little hard to follow. Use spell check haha.

III. The part that Siddhartha talked about having a child with Kamala was a good textual reference. It didn't upset the flow of the story at all and worked really well.

IV. The introduction really didn't draw me in. I'm glad that I did continue because I actually enjoyed the story. But the introduction needs a little more something to really try to hook the person.

stacie said...

1.i liked the details you give throughtout your story. it gives me a clear picture of some things.

2. it was a well rounded story i enjoyed reading it.

3the first few sentecnes did grad my attention so i kept reading and it happened to be a great story. good job baby!.

Benito Grande said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Benito Grande said...

1. I think that the best part of the story was the girls gone wild tour bus. I would never have thought to have Siddhartha experience something like that. Then the end with the helicopter with more girls was funny too. "It is the girls gone wild tour bus filled with to many girls to count. Siddhartha's jaw dropped. “is this for me’ he said with great enthusiastic voice. “ yes it is, I figured that we could role in stile to south Carolina to myrtle beach."

2. There were quite a few spelling mistakes. There were also a few sentences that were a little hard to follow. the introduction is kind of hard to follow because the author uses to many descriptions.

3. The part that Siddhartha talked about having a child with Kamala was a good textual reference. It didn't upset the flow of the story at all and worked really well. I think that it was a good textual reference and a good example of what Siddhartha would have done in that situation.

4. The introduction really didn't draw me in. it was really confusing and the author used too many describing words. he tried to write about his level. I'm glad that I did continue because I actually enjoyed the story. But the introduction needs a little more something to really try to hook the person.